June 20th, 2011 Lisa
Ahh its finally arrived. No need to pack lunches, snacks, arrange carpools, arrive on time…just lazy mornings in our PJs, lots of lounging by the pool or beach and exploring outdoors.
WAIT - that was the “summer vacation” of my childhood, now days there are lunches, snacks and places to arrive on time. Summer Camp! So many options - sports, art, water play, YMCA, local parks & rec, private places. I’ve received several different threads of emails from other parent’s sharing their summer camp plan, all of us trying to coordinate so our kids’ summer vacation is fully scheduled. When did this happen? I suppose its due partly to working parents, needing to keep their kids cared for; and partly to stay at home parents, needing to keep a little sanity in the house; and partly, but probably a small part, due to the child’s interest.
We don’t let our kids sit still any more (myself included). We’ve become a scheduled, orchestrated, keep-them-busy-until-bedtime society. It’s hard to resist the temptation to click “enroll” when all your kids’ friends are signing up. So I’ve tried to strike a balance. We’re doing a few camps, a few trips, and I’ve left lots of unscheduled time on the calendar. My husband and I both use Google calendar and often that is our mode of “communicating” what’s happening to each other (surviving 10+ years of marriage is a topic I’ll save for another post) so sometimes I even schedule “don’t schedule anything” on the calendar. Crazy, huh?
This week my 7 year old is in Art Farm, a local art camp set at a farm. It’s a little hidden gem in our patch of suburbia: take a dirt road across several bridges of a meandering stream, arrive to a clearing nestled below huge, old tress to find llamas, chickens, ponies and art stations setup outside. (When I dropped him off this morning, I confess I wished I was attending). This is our first camp of the summer. I’ll post back to share how it goes.
How do you approach your summer plans?
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July 3rd, 2008 Lisa
Today my son and I decorated the wagon & plasma car for our neighborhood’s annual Fourth of July parade — red, white and blue colors (and a few others mixed in) are taking over our house, inside and out. At almost five, we’re talking about what the 13 stripes represent, and which starts are for each of the states; but I can see that I’ll need to explain patriotism & the history of this holiday in more depth soon. Until I figure that out, I want to share another Mom’s blog that I read — she has been raising her kids while her husband has been on tour in Iraq. Whatever your politics / patriotism / war opinions are, you are certain to admire this mother who writes My Longest Year. Having babies & raising kids while her husband is deployed is only the start of this Mom’s strength; she’s also incredibly creative and you’ll find great ideas for craft projects & practical household items.
This Fourth of July goes out to all those serving our country who are also raising kids, and especially to their spouses who have much more challenging things to explain than I.
Posted in Mothering Muses, mothering issues | No Comments »
May 6th, 2008 Lisa
This morning I went to the memorial service for little Derek Siaosi, the boy who was tragically killed in our neighborhood last week. What a celebration it was, of his life. Because it was very personal I don’t feel comfortable going into detail here, but I do want to share a beautiful poem read during Derek’s eulogy. It made me think about what I’m doing with my dash…..
— The Dash –
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on his tombstone
From the beginning to the end
He noted that first came the date of his birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years
For that dash represents all the time
That he spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved him
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?
Posted in mothering issues | 2 Comments »
May 3rd, 2008 Lisa
I tend to tread the line between two worlds often, I like the sense of perspective it offers when I’m engaged in more than one thing. So it’s probably no surprise that I have been both a working mom and a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). I had both of my babies while working, and it wasn’t until I was pregnant with the second that it became clear to me I wanted to migrate — fully — to the SAHM world. But in all honesty, ever since I became a mother I’ve attended playgroups where I pretended to be only a mother (and downplayed my career); and I’ve kept a multi-million dollar business running while not mentioning my kids. I love both - career and kids - and I’m fascinated by how polarizing a subject this is for mothers.
Even though I currently consider myself “completely” a SAHM, I keep my finger in a few business activities, one of which is a professional women’s group. These are high powered women who run their own companies; I’m not talking about a networking or social business group, these women are serious business owners. So when the topic came up at our last meeting about someone having an employee who was a young mother, my ears perked up.
The CEO reported that this woman had been slacking, in part because she wanted flex time to tend to her four year old. So, she had a sit down with the employee and told her she needed to step it up. In order to demonstrate her commitment to the company, the employee enrolled her kid in full time preschool (rather than a couple days a week); secured someone to pick her up; comes in earlier and leaves later. The reaction from the group was, “That’s good.” “It’s about time.” “Either work like everyone else, or get out.” And these were all women.
My unasked question to the CEO is this: Does any part of you wonder if, in ten years, you’ll look back and realize your actions caused this woman to miss critical aspects of her child’s life?
It’s not my place to judge, and I am grateful I’m in neither positions (the CEO who has to make the demands, or the mother who has to make the sacrifices). I should also mention that the CEO is a mother as well.
Someone who does take a stab at surveying the current thinking on stay at home v. working moms is Leslie Steiner, in her collection of essays from both sides of the debate.
My take is this: we are all women. We are the caretakers of our children, of society. Whether we make the active choice to become a mother or not, and whether we make the active choice to become a working mother or not, we have to support all women. We need successful business women to better our society, and the fact that we need mothers simply can’t be disputed. I have plenty of friends who know — KNOW — they mother better when they are working. I respect them completely, just like I respect the June Cleaver’s in my neighborhood who can dream of nothing better than baking cookies & homeschooling.
Posted in mothering issues | 2 Comments »
