July 3rd, 2008 Lisa
Today my son and I decorated the wagon & plasma car for our neighborhood’s annual Fourth of July parade — red, white and blue colors (and a few others mixed in) are taking over our house, inside and out. At almost five, we’re talking about what the 13 stripes represent, and which starts are for each of the states; but I can see that I’ll need to explain patriotism & the history of this holiday in more depth soon. Until I figure that out, I want to share another Mom’s blog that I read — she has been raising her kids while her husband has been on tour in Iraq. Whatever your politics / patriotism / war opinions are, you are certain to admire this mother who writes My Longest Year. Having babies & raising kids while her husband is deployed is only the start of this Mom’s strength; she’s also incredibly creative and you’ll find great ideas for craft projects & practical household items.
This Fourth of July goes out to all those serving our country who are also raising kids, and especially to their spouses who have much more challenging things to explain than I.
Posted in Mothering Muses, mothering issues | No Comments »
June 10th, 2008 Lisa
Today my 4 year old son had a breakthrough in swimming; he started with the short length of the pool, swimming all the way across while coming up for one breath. Then the length of the pool. Then all sorts of tricks; touching the bottom, swimming like a dolphin, twirls. It was beautiful to see his confidence, his body floating in the water, he becoming more comfortable. We celebrated with applause and praise and promises of golden starts. He was still lingering in the hot pool when he said, in a sweet voice, “Mom, can we go to Target tonight and get my very own towel?”
Target? When did my son learn about Target? Yes I do take him shopping often, but the only store names he knows (according to me) are Geppettos, which is the wonderful local toy store, and Starbucks (because I frequent it). Where did he learn about Target?
For a second after he asked, I felt a pang of lost innocence. It’s hard for me to keep up with his growth; no, it’s hard for me to accept his growth. His awareness, his impressions. But we don’t live on an island or out in the country miles away from the nearest neighbor (um, like, where I grew up). I’m an urban mother raising my children in an urban world where Target and Ninja Turtles and Transformers and Harry Potter are commonplace.
I’m just not ready for them.
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May 25th, 2008 Lisa
That’s the motto of the New San Diego Children’s Museum which we visited for the second time today. It opened in May, and features an eco-friendly & kid friendly space in the Gaslamp District of downtown San Diego. It’s an excellent space, starting from the lobby which had to be designed by parents of young children; as you wait in line to check in, drop off your stroller, and get organized your kids can play on the plush beanbags (my two year old loves them) or on the bikes. Yes, bikes, in the lobby, INSIDE the museum. They are great — my five year old is still learning to peddle them, but I’d say anyone from 3 - 63 could ride these things. They are entertaining, they don’t go to fast (crashes remind me of soft bumper cars) and the kids love them.
Moving on from the lobby, there are three floors to explore with a kids theater (dress up cloths, stages, mirrors); The top floor has a mural-climbing-wall and a room filled with mattresses & foam tires to literally go “jumping on the bed.” This space has received complaints from parents of younger kids — it does get a bit hectic, and if you have a tiny-tot you need to be in there to supervise.
The museum also has a teen section and a great shop with creative products as well as many European brands. We spent a lot of time in the clay section - a block of clay, accessible tables and a few utensils occupy little minds for a long time. What I love about the clay area is that I rarely bring out clay at home — too messy — so it feels like a treat for my kids, and me (since I’m not doing the cleaning)!
Complaints - lack of parking (there’s a nice garage below, but only a few spots allocated to the museum and a less-than-friendly attendant), expensive parking and no strollers allowed inside the museum. These downsides didn’t bother me or my family.
I highly recommend a visit to the museum.
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May 20th, 2008 Lisa
I have the good fortune to be the youngest of nine children, so they have all “done” everything before me, including having children. I live my life attempting to duplicate their successes and avoid their pitfalls. And I get to see how they each choose a different parenting path, even though we all came from the same parents and have the same genes (or do we?)
Interestingly, several of my siblings have only one child (reaction, perhaps?) and the most that any has is three. Between us all, we have 13 cousins. I was nine when my oldest sister had her baby; in many ways, my niece feels more like my sister and as a child I spent many hours tending to her and the other oldest grandchildren in our family. Now that my oldest sisters have empty nests, I see them reflect upon their children, and how their own parenting efforts have created these little birds flying off to college, work world, and the other side of the world.
My eldest sister sent me this tonight….I want us who are in the throws of parenting to take one or two sentences and try to hold it, for just a moment, to recognize what a special time of our lives we are in.
IF I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I’d finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars,
I’d do more hugging and less tugging.
I’d see the oak tree in the acorn more often,
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I’d model less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.
–Diane Loomans
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May 15th, 2008 Lisa
We were walking home from the park today when my 4 yr old son blurted out, “Mommy, bats are nocturnal.” Nocturnal: I don’t think I knew what that word was until 4th or 5th grade. I never was a big science buff. I know kids pick up all sorts of words and phrases, and I figured that’s what happened with my kid. So I asked him what nocturnal means; it’s something that comes out at night. Do we know of anything else that is nocturnal. Crickets. And owls. This wasn’t just a word he heard somewhere; he is studying bugs and animals and his mind is processing, cataloging who is who in the world of night owls.
Where does my kid learn this stuff? Don’t get me wrong — this post is not about my ever-so-bright kid. We certainly have our fair share of issues & things to work on. But the fact of the matter is kids — all kids — are smarter these days. And, they have the capacity to learn, to really learn, at a young age.
Earlier - before the nocturnal discussion - I toured a new preschool in my neighborhood, Aspirations. It’s a beautiful, new facility that teaches the Reggio Emilia approach. I wasn’t familiar with this philosophy, so I asked and the guide told me it was child-based, letting the kids learn at their own phase. It gives them confidence, “teaches them positive self-esteem so that they are ready to start learning when they enter school (i.e. Kindergarten or first grade).” It occurred to me that we don’t expect our children to “learn” until they are in school. In fact, as a society, most of our preschools ARE play-based, child directed, which all of us mothers are comfortable with because it means our toddlers & young kids aren’t being pressured, and they are having fun. But what about learning, can that be fun?
Recently I also toured my public school, where the new principle talked about a balance between work + play. “You have to work hard, get your stuff done, and then you can play.” This matches up to my philosophy of eating your dinner before having desert. But again I wondered, why can’t the “work” be fun? Why is there always this dichotomy, between learning (i.e. work, forced activity) vs. fun (i.e. freedom, enjoyable).
Somewhere along the way my kid learned about nocturnal animals, and it’s fun for him. It saddens me that as parents, teachers and a society in general, we view learning as this treacherous, difficult thing we HAVE to do. Kids love learning, and their capacity to learn under the age of six is immense. I witness it. My 4 year old has taught my daughter to count to ten - in spanish. No, we are not a bilingual home, no I didn’t play a role in this. It just happened! And my kids are regular kids, they have tantrums and bad behavior and love sugar. And they love to learn.
I challenge you to allow your young kids to play in the world of learning; to enjoy it, to relish dissecting a leaf and all its veins; to search for letters on buildings and signs when they are learning the alphabet; to get a CD of a foreign language you know nothing about, and play it in the car. You’ll be amazed. I am.
Posted in Mothering Muses, child education | 1 Comment »
